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Tears of absolute joy, pride, relief, and exhaustion poured down my face as I watched my son make his way into this world early in the morning one week ago today. This was the third time that I’ve been fortunate enough to have this experience but this was the first time I’ve ever felt these emotions so strongly. Maybe it had something to do with being a little bit older this time around or knowing that this will be the last time it will ever happen. Or maybe it was a release of tension and overall relief after ten months of experiencing the wide range of intense emotions that go along with a pregnancy. It could have also been a response to the feeling of being completely aware and in the moment at the time, an intense awareness that I had never experienced before. I’m sure it was a combination of all these things.
It was around 5 AM when Jody woke me up to let me know she was having some strong contractions. Her Dad arrived a little bit later to watch the girls and we were off to the hospital. We got there around 6:30 and after the initial observations determined she was fully ready to go, we were quickly whisked into the operating room because the maternity floor was so packed that we’d have to deliver in there. Jody was supposed to have an epidural but there was no time for that. Watching the determination and focus on her face was incredible. When she puts her mind to something there is nothing or no one who can stop her and I feel so fortunate to be able to witness it and call myself her husband. Andrew arrived at 7:32 AM, weighing 7 lbs. 12 oz and measuring 19.5 inches.
The intense awareness that I spoke about earlier was present through this entire experience. As soon as he took his first breath, I thought to myself, “We made this person. We brought this little beautiful thing to life”. It’s insane when you think about how life works. I have such a great appreciation that we’ve been fortunate enough to have this miracle happen three times. Jody and I get to hold, nurture, teach and hopefully shape the lives of these three little people that we’ve created. That’s fucking crazy. I’ve had a ton of built up anxiety, tension, out of body type feelings that have plagued me this year. I’ve learned to notice that everything is always changing, how everything has both a beginning and an end and I know that by noticing these things that my mind will experience a greater sense of ease over time. Recognizing this event as the beginning of his life and the end of the pregnancy brought a sudden sense of calm and stillness to my body and mind.
We are all here because a woman gave birth to us. Most people think of the day they were born as one of the happier days of the year. It is crazy when you stop and think about it: that day represents the day that you emerged from your Mother’s body. The tolls of pregnancy are pretty intense to say the least. Jody is so mentally and physically strong. I don’t know that I could deal with the rigors of pregnancy so I’m happy that she is the lucky one that gets to experience it. I give major props to all of the women who go through this and give us the gift of life.
I also have to give major props to the doctors and nurses who assist in the process. We were lucky to have a great doctor who was calm and confident under pressure along with a few nurses who went above and beyond to make the experience a positive one despite difficult circumstances. Their jobs are incredibly tough when you consider the long hours they put in, the overwhelming patients and the more difficult things they have to witness and deal with.
I have some pretty cool things that I’m working on right now that I will talk about in the next blog in a few days. Thanks for reading!