I realized the other day that I haven’t posted anything on here in over a year and that made me sad. I’ve been reading some of my old poker blog entries from 2006 and 2007 and I’ve really enjoyed seeing what my thought process was like back then. I’d like to be able to continue to reflect like that in the future so I hope to continue writing and updating on this site for that reason.
It’s funny when you look back at things that you’ve written in the past and see the way that you thought and how it has changed. In doing so I realized that in order to be successful in anything, whether it be poker or any other aspect of life, you have to be completely confident in thinking you know everything and the decisions you are making are correct while at the same time recognizing that you actually know nothing and still have everything to learn. If I want to improve as a person, as a poker player, a father, a husband, a son, a brother, an uncle or a friend, I need to have the ability to honestly assess and recognize my flaws and make the necessary optimal adjustments. Life isn’t easy for anyone. It’s so easy to come up with excuses and reasons why you can’t improve or change. People don’t change people. They can inspire people to make changes but at the end of the day, the onus is on the individual to make the changes. And how do you measure success? No one can measure your success better than you can. Success to me means knowing that you have honestly evaluated your performance in whatever area of life you are working on and you can say with certainty that you did everything possible to make your goal achievable. In poker and in a lot of other areas of life, the results are not always able to be controlled. The process, however, is what matters most. Finding the middle, finding the balance in everything is what it is all about. That has been a struggle for me for most of my 30 years but I’m more confident then ever that I’m closer to figuring it out. I’m looking forward to reading this paragraph five years from now, smiling, thinking that I thought I had it figured out but knowing that I had so much more to learn.
A lot has happened in the last year since I got home from Vegas. Ava went to kindergarten, Cam has continued to be her crazy little self, and Jody is pregnant with our first son (and last child), Andrew, who was due to arrive yesterday but is making us wait a little longer. In November, online poker returned to New Jersey which meant that I could resume playing from home and no longer have to drive to the casino to make a living. This has been a truly wonderful thing for us and I’m extremely grateful that I have this opportunity. I missed the entire World Series of Poker this year for the first time since 2005 due to the timing of the baby. I missed a lot of things about being out there for the summer: the thrill of chasing bracelets, the fun of staying in a “poker house” with friends, and the delicious food (RISE AND SHINE I MISS YOU!). On the other hand, I saved a lot of money in travel costs while sticking to more of a “normal” schedule and getting a lot of stuff done around the house in preparation for Andrew’s arrival.
So I suppose thats about it for now. Andrew should be here any day/hour/minute/second now!